So a pig and a goat walk into a bar....and wouldn't you know I googled pig and goat bar jokes and came up with nothing remotely funny? I suppose that doesn't matter because this pizza itself fills the void of a good raunchy joke any day. Besides, is it even appropriate to make a raunchy joke when talking about food? This isn't a rhetorical question, someone really needs to answer that question for me.
Even if I could somehow come up with a funny pig and a goat in a bar joke, it wouldn't apply here because the pig was the sacrificial swine that pretty much makes this pizza worth eating in its entirety [let me be clear, pizza is always worth eating in general, but not always in its entirety by 1 person in 1 night] so the goat would've been on his own, therefore ensuring whatever joke could result would most certainly be too raunchy for a food blog. So I guess I just answered my own question. Rauchy jokes+food=no bueno.
It so happens that I had to make this pizza twice to get it right, though for the life of me I can't remember what was "wrong" with it the first try--largely because I made this pizza before I moved--like before I even knew that I would end up moving exactly 3 blocks away from my original residence and then take upwards of three weeks to unpack in my new place. Yeah...I'm just going to accept the apparent fact that my life will never be on schedule in the way that I want it to. #sigh
So there are a few things I've learned about pizza:
1) Roasting/Sauteing/Caramelizing any vegetable component to a pizza=infinitely better pizza.
2) Vodka sauce is amazing as pizza sauce because it's flavorful yet milder in acidity and sweetness than
traditional pizza sauce and there's vodka in it. And booze makes everything better. This is fact.
3) I really need to make my own damn pizza dough, because it's not that hard and I'm really over crackly
On a bakig sheet, arrange bacon slices. Cook on center rack of oven for 10-12 minutes, or until crisp. Remove bacon from baking sheet to a plate to cool. Using the same baking sheet with the rendered fat, arrange tomato slices evenly throughout bacon drippings and sprinkle smoked sea salt with black pepper and if needed, a splash of olive oil. Place on center ract of oven, and roast for about 15 minutes.
As tomatoes are roasting, in a heavy skilled, heat olive oil on medium-high heat until hot, but not smoking. Add sliced onions, a dash of smoked sea salt, and more coursely ground black pepper. Saute onions for about 5 minutes, until edges are just browed and onions are still firm; remove from heat.
Brush one side of pita with olive oil, the place oil side down on a large sheet of parchment paper. Brush outer 1 inch border of pita with olive oil, then spread vodka sauce on inner diameter of pizza. Layer onion,s tomatoes, mozerella, goat cheese, and roughly chopped bacon slices, in that order. Place pizza on parchment paper directly on center oven rack, and bake about 8-10 minutes, or until mozerella is melted and crust is browned. Remove from oven, top with basil, and a dash more smoked salt and black pepper. Slice and eat your face off.