Sold, for 1000 Camels! Morocco: Part Duex

So I may have tried to sell my sister to a shop owner for 1000 camels. And I definitely tried to sell Hillary for 300. See right what had happened....was that the men in Morocco were quite friendly... and forward...lol.  But then I remembered that there was no way I could go home to my mom without Odichi, and had I promised Dan and Debbie I would keep Hillary safe [her parents were really worried, bless their hearts], so I decided it would be in poor taste sell my sister and friend to strangers. And besides, 300 camels is an insulting price, the guy was trying to take advantage of my naivete--but I know better for next time--I won't consider anything under 650 camels. True story.

This guy tried to buy my sister. We settled on us buying silver teapots from him instead

He thinks he just bought Hillary...that might be my fault

Anyway, the remaining two days in Morocco were spent shopping in the market, getting henna tattoos, eating honey pastries, riding camels, drinking mint tea,  lounging around our riad, sweatin' buckets, discussing the sociopolitical relationship between Morocco and the United states (apparently Secretary of State Clinton has a home somewhere in the country--and they love Obama there [yeah, son!]) politely refusing marriage proposals,  shopping [yes, more shopping] and watching the world cup final.

I'm rich, bitch!

lounging at the pool

Just walking around was an experience in itself. For one thing, the Moroccan men sure do love dreadlocks. My sister and I got a lot of attention, compliments, and questions on our hair. Walking through the streets, men would shout "Rasta Pasta!" and "We love Rasta!" "Bob Marley!" etc., it was hilarious. The market was like a microcosm unto itself, it was a sprawling maze of twisting alleys packed full of fabulous stuff. The deeper we went in, the further away from the rest of the world we felt, which after you get over that "this is where the white people in horror movies get killed, what the hell am I doing walking down this narrow street?!" feeling, it was pretty damn awesome.  First and foremost, there were leather shops EVERYWHERE selling leather EVERYTHING. I thought I would buy a nice leather bag, but before I knew it I was trying on leather jackets--in July--in Morocco*--and yes I did eventually buy a fabulous lamb skin bomber jacket.** It was like cocaine laced chicken noodle soup for the shopper's soul. There were antique lamps, ceramics, tangines of every size and color, antiques, tea sets, jewelry, wood boxes and carvings, paintings, pashminas, jalabas and kaftans, etc. I was in heaven! I ran out luggage space and kept shopping until I  ran out of money. Lesson for next time, bring more money. Lot's more money!

Our third and final day in Marrakech, we finally did something other than shop.  We went on a two hour camel trek. It was as cool as it sounds, except that it happened to be the hottest day of our trip, like 105 degrees walking around in a damn oven hot! I sooo regretted not bringing my water with me. Aside from nearly dying from heat exhaustion, the whole experience was awesome, and Carrie Bradshaw and crew  ain't got nothin on us!

Pongo, our trusty guide dog!
 It was so hot, it looked like he was gonna pass out at one point
At that point, I was worried for myself 

an hour into the ride, we were given a break with bread, honey, and more tea
I just wanted some cold freakin' water!

And to end our fabulous mini-holiday, we watched the world cup final, broadcast in Arabic [which is such an angry language, lol] with a ton of Spanish fans and two lovely British gals that we met while walking to the bar.

before

meets GOOOOOOOL!
this guy is obviously a die hard, lol
and he was on both of our flights to and from Morocco

A fabulous time was had by all, the memories are forever a part of my psyche, and I can't wait to do it again!

Aur Revoir Maroc!

*the Saharan Desert starts in Morocco
**I didn't include a picture b/c I'm just that lazy. But best believe the second it's cool enough, I'll be wearing it and including a picture of myself wearing it :)

Bienvenue au Maroc! Part Une

Tsamina mina
Zangalewa
Cuz this is Africa!

Tsamina mina eh eh
Waka Waka eh eh
Tsamina mina zangalewa
Anawa aa
This time for Africa!

As I am wrapping up my vacation related posts, I must detail my journey to Morocco. I don't want you to think for one moment that España overshadowed my time in Morocco, because it didn't. If it were practical for me to try to move to a Muslim nation as a single woman, Marrakech would be a real possibility. I cannot emphasize how wonderful the people were. Contrary to what ALL of the online reviews said about the men being aggressive, touchy, and rude to foreign women, our experience was the opposite. From the moment our very attractive cab driver picked us up from the airport, we were shown nothing but the warmest of hospitality by the people everywhere we went.  When our cab driver dropped us off on a busy street in what seemed to be the middle of chaos, the manager of our riad was waiting to meet us and show us the way to paradise.

The walk to our riad was short, but unforgettable words can hardly describe it. Try to imagine walking down a busy dusty road, the Saharan sun on your back, rows of with little shops selling leather goods, fruit, spices, jewelry, and cheap touristy crap, etc. with their merchants sitting outside looking at you with friendly eyes and big smiles, practically yelling "be sure to visit!" and "welcome, new neighbors!", dodging motor bikes as they whiz by so closely you can feel the heat on your ankles, exotic aromas wafting about, cats lazily lounging in the shade, and donkeys pulling carts of fruit, and a sort of organized chaos that would never sustain itself peacefully stateside. And we hadn't even put our bags down yet! Upon arriving to the riad, we were immediately seated in the courtyard for cool* water and hot mint tea. It was the first of many cups of tea on our three days in Morocco, and the beginning of a glorious experience.

When traveling to Marrakech, the preferred lodging venue is a riad rather than a hotel, and I have to say this is the way to go! We stayed at Riad Diana, and it was beautiful!

After a week of jamón, gratuitous partying, inhaling secondhand smoke by the metric ton and driving almost an hour to Sevilla's airport for our morning flight, we were in serious need of some R&R. Based on the recommendation of friend of my sister, we booked ourselves a spa treatment at the Le Bains de Marrakech Spa for the afternoon of our arrival.  BEST. DECISION. EVER! We traversed the dodgy street traffic in Marrakech on foot to get to the spa--crossing the street looked something like this--but once we got there, it was like being transported to another world. Once we arrived inside, they informed us that we couldn't take any pictures, and I know why. When standing at the gates of heaven, the last thing God wants is for people to be snapping photos. It's rude and disturbs the other bliss seekers. $105 bought three hours of BLISS: a 1 hour hammam body wrap/scrub, a 1 hour hot stone massage, and a 1 hour relaxation massage. Gotta love that dirham/dollar exchange rate!

The hammam was an experience I just have to share in detail, because it makes me chuckle. Basically, we were paired off and put in a steam room, naked from the waist up, and allowed to SWEAT out EVERYTHING. After an unknown amount of time, we were then practically manhandled by Moroccan women with a super scrubby body sponges (which they gave to us to keep, and yes I still use mine), and various soaps and oils . You would think that being roughed up by a stranger while being practically nude in a 100 degree steam room would be odd and off putting. But honestly, I was too tired to care, and then seeing all the dirt, dead skin, and what I'm sure was cigarette smoke residue coming off my body, I was amazed [and slightly mortified] and super appreciative of their efforts. After that scrub, my skin was softer than a newborn's ass AND my neck was several shades lighter. I was delighted. And then then they took me to the massage chamber where they rubbed me with hot stones and oils for two hours, and I'm pretty sure I left about 8oz of drool on the table because I was knocked out! I remember waking up at one point during my massage and having no clue where I was for probably 5 whole seconds, and not caring at all. I didn't know it was possible to be that relaxed. After it was over and they practically had to shake me awake, I could barely walk to the finishing room where there were rose petals and fountains and misters, we were seated on chaise lounges, given more mint tea, honey pastries, and allowed to continue to decompress. The few images on the website do not lie! Best spa experience of my life!

After dragging ourselves back into the streets of Marrakech, we saw fit to shop. We found our way to a "pharmacy" that we had stopped in on our way to the spa, and made a time of it, which included inhaling various herbal remedies--menthol in it's pure form will literally burn your brain and put hair on your chest, but it'll clear the sinuses! We drank mint tea, bought spices, herbs, and sandalwood, and made new friends. Honestly, I can't think of a better introduction to this wonderful country!

We wrapped up our evening in Morocco with a fabulous dinner at the fabulous Dar Essalam restaurant. You can read about the food in this post. But obviously the coolest part was the belly dancing and the woman dancing with a tray of candles on her head who did splits. It was wild, y'all!

And all of this was only on our first day!


*the water was never, ever cold. I don't think they understood the concept of ice cold water. Maybe it's b/c they can only drink bottled water, and therefore don't ever have ice. I dunno

Hola Guapas!

I'm baaaaack! The wayward blogger has returned from España and Morocco! Did you miss me?? Hopefully you did a little bit, but not too much, because quite honestly, I was having such a ridiculously good time, that I didn't think miss much of anything from home (except the poodle and my favorite blogs, of course).  I do apologize for taking so long to get back to the blog, seeing as how I've been stateside since Thursday evening, and had ample opportunity over the weekend to put a post together. But I was (and still am) suffering from the "back to my harsh American reality" blues and the transition has actually been really hard. But enough of that, I'm sure you want to hear all about my trip. Obviously, I can't blog about 15 days of bliss in one post, so here's my trip in a nutshell.

El Viaje
Barcelona (5 days), Madrid (3 days), El Puerto de Santa Maria (4 days), Marrakech, Morocco (3 days).
Planes, Trains, y Automobiles
15 days, 9 airports, 2 trains, 2 rental cars, 10 metros, countless taxis, and more stairs than I though possible. And our bags made it through every connection! [Jesus love me, this I know!]
Memorable Highlights:
Running full speed with our bags to the furthest gate in Amsterdam's massive airport to make our connection to Barcelona. I re-injured my strained foot, but we made our connection!
About 30 of the sexiest Spanish Military Servicemen in Madrid's Airport. I would've taken a picture, but it seemed like a bad idea.
Getting pulled over en route from Madrid to El Puerto de Santa Maria for a DWB (driving while black). It was kinda funny, but it kinda wasn't.
Did you know that in Spain, the it's perfectly normal to pass a vehicle in the lane of opposing traffic? Playing chicken on the winding roads of the Spanish countryside really gets your adrenaline pumping, lol...
The 4 hour siesta of the RENTAL CAR counter at the train station. No Bullshit!

benedryl is a flyer's best friend!

flight 1 of 3, España bound!

Barcelona we have arrived!

Thank God for these nifty suitcases. 7 flights down to leave our Madrid apt!

are you serious?! we have an 8 hour drive to valencia, and it's 13:30!

¡Bienvenido a España!

Guapos, Jamon, Cigarette smoke, Flirting, and Shopping! Let me put it this way, our first night out, we came home at 6:30 am. The sun doesn't set till after 10pm. The Spaniards love them some ham, don't seem to know what a vegetable is, smoke like chimneys EVERYWHERE, drink like fish, don't speak English, have more sexy men (guapos) in more square mile than all of the midatlantic, party till dawn, stare at black people, dance in the streets, and still make me feel like I've been living in the wrong country and I need to move. 16 month plan in the works!

first night out in Barcelona. Yes, that's the sun rising, lol

they were soooo cute! dancing in the streets of Barcelona

Barcelona Futbol Club!

Our first night in El Peurto de Santa Maria where we stayed with my cousin (crazy person in the back)

dinner in El Peurto!

Bienvenue au Maroc!
Le Bain de Marrakech Spa=heaven, leather, spices, mint tea, sexy men, damn it's hot, and camel rides! 
Marrakech was more beautiful and enjoyable than I could have ever imagined. The Moroccans went out of their way to make us feel welcomed and at home. As a Nigerian American, it felt really good to be in Northern Africa and know that the people are fiercely proud Africans who were warm, charming, of course hospitable, all while still being loud and pushy Africans. I felt safer on the tiny streets of the Marrakech while dodging motor bikes and donkey carts than I did in our sketchy neighborhood in Madrid. If Morocco weren't a Muslim nation and therefore a DRY nation, I would consider moving there. It was exoticly homey, I loved it!

Our Riad in Marrakech

Family picture, lol

You know I bought spices, right?

My smack talking camel. I named her Bettina, turns out her name was Julie

Henna!

3 hours of bliss=105 euro=I will be going back!

La Comida 
Deserves an entire post by itself. A few pics until then

World Cup 
So as fate would have it, we were actually in Morocco during the final game. But still, we had an awesome time watching the game broadcast in Arabic, made new British friends and were surrounded by Spain fans. Sure we missed the party in Madrid, but we still had a good time!

¡Viva España!

Los Recuerdos
Will last a lifetime. I couldn't have asked for better company. And as God as my Witness, I'm going back to Spain and Morocco. SOON!

Familia

That's all for now ladies and gents. More posts to come! Oh and I definitely got blog gifts, so if you aren't already, please be sure to become a follower via blogger, facebook, or blog lovin' to be eligible to win!