Tuesday, October 25, 2011

The Most Interesting Woman in the World

The Dos Equis Man may very well be the most interesting man in the world, but where is his female counterpart? Actually, during my pre-move, "must clear off my DVR before I move marathon" of Oprah Presents Master Class [among other shows], I concluded that Condoleezza Rice is a strong contender for that title. While I almost entirely and vehemently disagree with her politics, I still find her to be profoundly fascinating and, dare I say it, an inspiration. That revelation acted as a tipping point of sorts. You see, throughout this 2xth year of my life, I've been pondering "what the fudge have I done with my life?" and "how exactly am I going to take over the world? what am I supposed to do with the rest of it?" ad nauseam. Damnit, it was suppposed to feel good to be a gangsta! But I've been feeling neither good, nor like a gangsta. What happened to me??! But Condy's riveting story and life lessons planted a seed in my head, and gave me the push I needed to acknowledge what I do want out of life, and then to go for it, full steam ahead.

And what I want is to round out my twenties, which up until now have fallen far short of my expectations, with a roar, and be a contender as the right hand to the left hand of El Señor. That's right y'all, this is a 30 before 30 list of epic [and slightly ridiculous] proportions. Naturally, anything big and bold by my standards tends to be on the 'spensive side and 30 is a closer reality than I care to admit, so I had to make some adjustments to the standard format. Here goes:

The Most Interesting Woman in the World's 30 before 30(+3).
  1. Become fluent in Spanish.  
  2. Live in Spain [and/or Italy]
  3. Meet Andy Cohen and/or get him to respond to my tweets. [I should probably start tweeting more regularly, right?]
  4. Read all of these books+whatever else strikes my fancy & add an active reading section to this here blog.
  5. Do something significant other than donate money to a cause
  6. Ride an elephant
  7. Do a full pole split
  8. Add a new continent to my travelogue [Asia, South America, or Australia]
  9. Make my own beer and/or wine
  10. Take a cooking class with an accomplished chef that I respect  [i.e. NOT Guy Fieri] or take a cooking class abroad
  11. Take a photography class
  12. Take a picture so beautiful it could be a post card/bring tears to my eyes
  13.  Watch every single episode of all 7 seasons of The West Wing in consecutive order [Christmas gift anyone??]
  14. Purchase one of these blazers
  15. Fly first class
  16. Make a dish that’s on the cover of Food & Wine Magazine [and take a worthy picture of it]
  17.  Perform on a stage again.
  18.  Go to a New York Fashion Week Runway Show [Mullberry, Burberry, Ferragamo, Tory Burch, Emmanuel Ungaro, or Carolina Herrera are my top picks]
  19.  See Lenny Kravitz in Concert 
  20.  Learn how to drive a motorcycle
  21.  Dance on the bar to a Ke$ha song while shouting obscenities at ugly people going insane, throwing some glitter, and making it rain*
  22.  Attend an Olive Oil Tasting [preferably abroad]
  23.  Learn to Salsa/flamenco dance well enough to not feel like a complete idiot
  24.  Master the smokey eye look
  25.  Learn how to shoot a gun
  26.  Attend a Grand Slam tennis match
  27.  Learn how to hot wire a car**, change my oil, and change a flat tire
  28.  Purchase a pair of luxurious rockin leather pants--and OWN the look. 
  29.  Insert some sort of goal that reflects positive progress in my personal life that does not involve a ring or a crumb snatcher [there shall be none put forth from this womb]
  30.  Enroll in Culinary School***
As you can see, I've already started making progress, but I've still got a LONG way to go. I'll keep you updated in the meantime.
*Ke$ha songs really make me want to do ridiculous things, Hillary and Alihah, consider yourselves warned [and I will insist you join me]
**Considering the recent trend of unnatural natural disasters and the ever growing threat of global terrorism, I would feel a lot more comfortable knowing that should suddenly the need to flee by motor vehicle arise, my flight (and/or fight) response will not hindered by a lack of keys.
***So I debated whether or not to share this, but really who is surprised by this? What really scares me is the question of how I'm going to pay for this, seeing as how I've done the whole college thing twice and I've got the loans to prove it. So I guess I should really get over my disdain for old men with money, right? #justsayin


  1. I am proud to say I accomplished #6,8 and 20 all in Thailand.....I would suggest a trip to Thailand!  It is a great place, the people are amazing and other than the occasional awkward alley smells I had a blast.  Elephant rides really are a once in a lifetime thing...without harness or any real protection!

    PS---nice books list. i'm stealing it :)

  2. I'm kinda feeling you on the Condy thing.  I'm going to pick up her new book to read it.  Good luck on completing your list!  Flying first class is all that it's cracked up to be, and there is nothing like hitting your target at a shooting range!

  3. I like your list!  You're bold and ambitious... there's no way you'd ever catch me on a motorcycle unless it was the only ride out of Hell (I call them "organ donors").  I can't even name one Ke$ha song or identify her if she walked right up to me... that's what happens when you're 30+!  (Okay, that doesn't happen to everybody, just boring people like me!)

  4. Wow, you really did it big in Thailand. I love it!  Thailand is at the top of my Asia list. Well I guess it's better I know now that there likely won't be safe guards for an elephant ride. there's nothing like being surprised about that sort of stuff, lol. Yeah, that book list will continue to grow, just be warned, lol.

  5. I may add Condy's book to my list, though I'm pretty horrible at finishing nonfiction books, but her story is amazing that I might actually finish it. I was THIS close to flying first class on my last trip to Spain. I'm still kind of tart that didn't work out.

  6. The irony is that I'm also TERRIFIED of motorcycles. But before I was old enough to have some sense about deathmobiles, I really wanted one. So I figure the best I can do to appease my inner adrenaline junkie is to learn how to ride one, but never own one (and NEVER EVER take it on the highway). Of course you can name a Ke$ha song, she sings "blow" and "tik tok" basically, if you've heard a pop song on the radio and it sounded like a drunk sorority girl at karaoke, odds are it was Ke$ha, lol

  7. Having seen Lenny Kravitz in concert, I can definitely condone his appearance on the list. I even touched him. Life changing event I tell you. And, I just worked on a photo shoot where the concept shot was inspired by the Dos Equis ad- great minds.......

  8. if you get tickets to a nyc fashion week show take me please :). I like your book list, Im reading to kill a mockingbird now, again, with my students. one of the good things about being a teacher is that I am forced to read classic novels that I probably would have never gotten around to (lord of the flies is on that list).

    and by the way goals are great but you already have a prettty interesting life. Sometimes i feel so boring than i look back at a blog or whatever kind of journal im keeping and realize i have done more than i thought. Believe me your life (or what i know of it from this blog) is tons more interesting than plenty of people i know. Blogging, travel, parties and festivals with friends... you're plenty interesting and i cant wait to read along while you complete this list. Sorry for the positivity overload. Had a good day at work and the joy is spilling over.

  9. You got to touch him? *Swoon* That's definitely life changing, I believe it! And I just LOVE the Dos Equis marketing, it's one of the best campaigns out there right now, I just wish the beer was better, lol

  10. If I get tickets, I'll definitely take you! I'm going to have to start my research on how one goes about getting tickets, I can only imagine there's some sort of hoop jumping. And I love (and desperately need) all the positivity, so keep it coming, it's much appreciated. Glad you had such a good day at work, I'm in the middle of one of those weeks where EVERYTHING is has gone wrong, so I at least someone is on Karma's good side, lol



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