Maple Bacon Biscuits

Here we go with the cute food again. Damn that Adrianna! For the record, I cooked these biscuits exactly 2 1/2 months ago. Don't ask me what I was doing with my time in between then and now, because I surely couldn't tell you, though I know for a fact that lots of bourbon was involved. And yes, I'm aware of the irony of this post following my lambasting of our nation's favorite diabetic, butter loving, cigarette smoking, foul-mouthed grandmother. But I wouldn't advocate eating biscuits like these, or of any variety really, more than two or three times a year. This sort of indulgence, in addition to the labor that goes into to making good biscuits, lands them squarely in the "special occasions category". I'll step off my soapbox now, as my hands are covered in butter and bacon grease, and I'm hungry. #damnitfeelsgoodtobeagangsta

While the details of the last few months seem some what hazy, I can tell you that on one lovely and lazy Sunday morning in November, I woke up and decided to make these maple bacon biscuits. And what a glorious Sunday morning it was!

The Pig & the Goat Pizza

So a pig and a goat walk into a bar....and wouldn't you know I googled pig and goat bar jokes and came up with nothing remotely funny? I suppose that doesn't matter because this pizza itself fills the void of a good raunchy joke any day. Besides, is it even appropriate to make a raunchy joke when talking about food? This isn't a rhetorical question, someone really needs to answer that question for me.

Even if I could somehow come up with a funny pig and a goat in a bar joke, it wouldn't apply here because the pig was the sacrificial swine that pretty much makes this pizza worth eating in its entirety [let me be clear, pizza is always worth eating in general, but not always in its entirety by 1 person in 1 night]  so the goat would've been on his own, therefore ensuring whatever joke could result would most certainly be too raunchy for a food blog. So I guess I just answered my own question. Rauchy jokes+food=no bueno.

Meatless Monday: The City Girl Sandwich

"I'm what you call a bona fide city girl"-Carrie Bradshaw, Sex & the City.

I love city life. I love the noise, the fast pace, the diversity, and the general sense that in the event I'm attacked on the street, even if people are too callous to help me, they they will at least be there to hear me scream. Ok, so I don't love that last part, but as far as I'm concerned, the opportunities and excitement of city living  makes dodging reckless drivers, overpaying for drinks, and looking over my shoulder on the walk home from work everyday totally worth it. With that said, however, I also appreciate country life, and have recently found myself enamored with the Pioneer Woman, her life on a dairy farm, and the culinary masterpieces she churns out of her kitchen. I couldn't help but be inspired by her Marlboro Man Sandwich, named for her cattle wrangling (though hopefully not cigarette smoking) husband. But I wrangle a poodle, not cattle, so I did what I do best, and made this sandwich my own, in a very city girl type of way.

I knew immediately I wanted to make my version of this sandwich vegetarian, largely because I can't afford grass fed beef, and don't eat much red meat in general. I used portabello mushrooms specifically because of their rich, meaty texture. I also didn't use butter, but you'll see what I did use instead later...

Oh chopped garlic, how I love thee.

The PW's recipe uses provolone, but I really wanted the sharpness of gorgonzola, because I'm a city girl and I don't have patience for mild cheeses.

So I didn't use an ounce of butter to saute the vegetables--a sharp contrast to the almost whole stick of butter used in the PW's original recipe--because I used rendered bacon fat and olive oil instead. I really wanted a deeper flavor base for this dish, that olive oil on its own just could not provide. I had pan fried some bacon with rosemary for breakfast that morning, and saved the fat in the pan specifically for making this dish (see pan in background). But I also keep a jar of bacon grease in my fridge just for cooking purposes (yes, I save all bacon grease). But because I do so love olive oil, for its flavor, and life prolonging qualities, I also used a generous amount of rosemary infused olive oil in which to saute the vegetables. No regrets.

The PW's recipe also called for sherry, but I've never even tasted sherry, let alone have it stocked in my pantry. But I did have bourbon, because I always have bourbon in my pantry. Always.

The most important part of this processes was letting the vegetables simmer to let the flavors really develop.

And the best part of the flavor developing process is the taste test. During the taste testing/flavor developing process, I realized two things: More bourbon is better and using bacon fat was the best idea ever!

I toasted my baguette in a little bit of pan jus and olive oil

And nothing says love on a sandwich like a bit of cheese and a few minutes under the broiler

 

This city girl could eat this sandwich everyday. I must say, this is one of the best things I've ever created in my kitchen. The vegetables had this complex flavor from the worcestershire and the bourbon, with a slight bacon finish that paired so well with the blue cheese. I literally patted myself on the back for this one, but the credit really goes to the Pioneer Woman. She's a freakin genius!

The City Girl Sandwich

Print this Recipe!

Olive oil

Rosemary Infused Olive Oil

Rendered Bacon Fat

Sea Salt

Freshly Ground Black Pepper

1 lb portabello mushrooms, sliced lengthwise

3 Whole Bell Peppers, red, orange, and yellow; sliced into rings

2 small onions, thickly sliced

1 tbsp chopped garlic

4 tbsp Worcestershire Sauce

1/2 cup Bourbon

2 tbsp Sriracha 

1 French Baguette

Gorgonzola Cheese

Slice mushrooms lengthwise, generously season with salt and pepper and set aside. Heat on medium-high heat, melt 2 tbsp of bacon fat and 3 tbsp of rosemary infused olive in heavy skillet. Saute mushrooms in 3 batches, about 2 minutes each side. Remove from heat, and cover with foil.

Add more rosemary infused olive oil and bacon fat to pan, and add onions, peppers, and garlic to pan. Saute about 5 minutes, until tender but not flimsy. Remove from heat, cover with foil and set aside.

Add a drizzle of olive oil to pan, and return mushrooms to pan. Add bourbon, worcestershire, and sriracha. Allow to simmer for about 3 minutes, then add peppers and onions. Simmer vegetables another 2-3 minutes. Add more salt, worceshtire and/or bourbon as needed. And an extra squeeze of sriracha for good measure. Remove from from pan, cover with foil, and set aside. In the same pan, keep just a very small bit of jus and add olive oil. Toast a halved baguette in olive oil until browned and crisp. Top bread with vegetable mixture, and sliced gorgonzola. Put under the broiler for about two minutes, until cheese is melted.

Serve immediately, and enjoy.

Croque-Mademoiselle

Anyone that knows anything about French cooking knows that it can range from the ridiculously complex and sophisticated to the absurdly simple and rustic. It's what I love about French food. It's also what I hate about it. Those same anyones that know anything about French food also know that the complex simplistic nature of French cooking is what elevates the humble ham and cheese sandwich to the out of worldly goodness that is the croque-monsieur and the croque-madame. I don't know the history of these sandwiches, but what I do know is that some evil genius thought to add dijon mustard, copious amounts of melted butter with a thick layer of a gruyere cheese saturated béchamele on the outside of a black forest ham sandwich, plus or minus a fried egg. What I also know is that when I came home after pole class and errands Wednesday evening, I didn't have gruyere cheese, black forest ham, or the patience to make a béchamele sauce. BUT I did have applewood smoked bacon, shredded extra sharp cheddar, and dijon mustard. I think you know where I went with this. A new sandwich was born...

Ingredients
3 slices thick cut, applewood smoked bacon
1 egg, fried
2 slices whole wheat bread
3 oz shredded extra sharp cheddar
1 tbsp dijon mustard
2 oz rendered bacon fat (bacon grease, yeah son!)
Handful of fresh spinach and arugula
Fresh ground black pepper

On a heavy baking sheet, bake bacon in a 350 degree oven for 12-15 minutes. While bacon is in the oven, toast slices of bread until a light golden brown. Spread mustard on one slice of bread, and set aside. Place a heavy (or nonstick) skillet on medium-high heat, add bacon fat and a healthy dose of black pepper. Add unbeaten egg to skillet,  sprinkle the top with black pepper, and fry for about 2-3 minutes, until egg white is firm. Slide the egg around in pan, flip and fry it yolk side down for 15 seconds to 1 minute (depending on desired level of yolk doneness). When done, remove from pan, and set aside. Assemble sandwich by adding greens to mustard slathered slice of bread, add cooked bacon slices, and top with second slice of bread. Transfer  sandwich to the same baking sheet on which bacon was cooked directly onto the leftover bacon fat. Top sandwich with shredded cheddar, and place into a 400 degree oven for about 2 minutes, or until cheese is melted and bubbly. Remove from oven and top with fried egg, and serve immediately.

I don't think I have to tell you about how awesome this meal was, but I'm going to. It was slap the poodle good. That's right. Whilst eating this sandwich, I looked at my precious Kona, and wanted to slap him in his cute little face. Ok, that's not true, but you get my drift. 

Oh and there's more! Thanks to a dear friend who is home from Japan for the holiday season, and insisted on meeting up for drinks on a weekday, I have a large can of pineapple juice in my fridge. This is an occurrence rarer than Halley's Comet, seeing as how I only keep water, coffee, or booze in my apartment. So I made a potent potable to accompany my profanely good sandwich, and this time I named it.

I can't believe my basil plant has managed to survive for over 2 months!

The Yankee Belle
1 1/2 parts bourbon
2 parts pineapple juice
4 leaves fresh basil slightly crushed
Pour over ice, stir, don't shake

You're welcome :)

Home to Roost

It's Oprah and Gail's BIG ADVENTURE! Except instead of Oprah and Gail, it's me, Hillary of The Sweet Maple Life, Latoya of the Quarter Life Chronicles, and Keeley from My Life on a Plate! That's right y'all, it's another blogger meet up spectacular. You may remember from this post, that I realized that Keeley is an alumni of my Alma mater, University of Delaware. You may also recall that on several occasions, I've waxed poetic about wanting to invite myself over for dinner at Keeley's. Well my friends, two weeks ago during homecoming weekend, that dream became a reality and then some!

When I realized that the four of us all went to UD and suggested we meet up at homecoming, Keeley was the 'sponsible one who sent out a coordinating email. We decided to meet up at the alumni bar crawl event on Friday night, which netted us alumni scarves, a free drink to start off, wristbands for discounts at all the participating bars, and a waffle breakfast after it all. Booze, food, & bloggers=AWESOME. Meeting Keeley and her husband E was great and the five of us hit it off fabulously. We then proceeded to hit several bars for blue hen themed libations, sliders, wine and more blue booze. We had such a good time, in fact, that naturally I have no pictures from Friday night. FAIL. Buuuut, Keeley, whose a 'sponsible blogger and posted about our little get together in a timely fashion has pics here!

But what about dinner at Keeley's? Glad you asked.

Naturally, during our boozin' and cruisin [on foot] Friday night, the topic of food was discussed, which then led to a discourse about bacon [and my undying love for it] which then segued to a conversation about Keeley's epic bacon mac n' cheese. Or at least I think that's what happened, but honestly can't remember for sure, because I was boozin' hard [I'd had a rough day earlier]. Regardless of the details, the pertinent facts were that an invitation to Keeley's home with her husband and dogs was extended and accepted. Speak it. Live it. Luv it!

Saturday came, and after what used to be an obligatory appearance at the Center for Black Culture's BBQ, but is now totally wack and has been usurped by the tailgate,  we piled in the cars and headed to Keeley's for lunch. We would've gone for dinner, but Hill, Alihah, and I had tickets for Kathy Griffin in Philly that evening. When we got Keeley's, we were greeted by our gracious hosts, her uber cute dogs Milo and Zelda, and wine, cheese and crackers. But this is Keeley I'm talking about here, so you know it was good wine, french cheese, and those good water crackers. And then came the bacon mac n cheese. Y'all know how I love bacon, but I haven't discussed my love of mac n cheese on this blog, largely because I only eat it twice a year when my mom makes it for the holidays. Well, the holidays came early this year, because that mac n cheese was a.ma.zing! It was creamy and cheesy and bacony and glorious. It was so good, I honestly believe that Oprah could give it away on an "Oprah's Favorite Things" episode. YOU GET A PLATE! AND YOU GET A PLATE! AND YOU GET A PLATE TOO OF KEELEY'S BACON MAC N' CHEESE!! The audience would go ape shit, and rest assured I would too.

In addition to the mind blowingly good food, we talked, we laughed, we drank more wine, I learned that I really need to get a Costco membership...it was grand. Before we knew it, it was time for Hillary and I to leave to get ready for our show, and we literally had to drag ourselves out the front door. I considered stealing one of Keeley's dogs, Zelda. She was just sooo cute! But I realized that if I stole her dog, she probably wouldn't be my friend anymore, and that Kona would be having none of that sharing the spotlight with another dog, so I decided against it.

Yet another fabulous blogger meet up. I'm 3 for 3, I like this trend. Keeley and E, I can't wait to do it again!

Oh and btw, Kathy Griffin was hi-larious! She literally has ADD and never finished telling her Oprah story, lol.

Go Blue and Gold!

It's Pastelillos Tiiiiiiiime!

Oh yeah! Oh yeah! It's Pastelillos time!

What's so great about Pastelillos time? Well aside from my obvious reference to Jersey Shore [the most entertaining show on television and the greatest gift MTV has ever given the world] pastelillos are Puerto Rican meat pies, better known as empenadas, usually filled with chicken or pork, and deep fried. Need I say more? Me encanta la comida de Puerto Rico, but I can only get it when I'm home in Jersey, because much to my disappointment [but probably to the benefit of my wallet and waistline] there isn't much of a Puerto Rican community here in Baltimore. However, I'm convinced that after my Pandora's souffles fiasco, the universe is trying to make things up to me. Case in point, just last week, Keeley at My Life on a Plate made these delicious looking chicken empenadas. After reading the post, I immediately  wanted one several, and lamented these feelings in her comments section. Then right after I invited myself over to at dinner Keeley's house, I realized four things:

1.) I'm kind of a fat bastard, and while currently this is only a state of mind, it could very easily manifest itself physically if don't keep my shit in check.
2.) I totally had the ingredients to make my own pastelillos and I could save myself a two hour drive home and an awkward conversation with my mom about why I only came home for Puerto Rican food.
3.) That I'm not a fat bastard yet, and I can start keeping my shit in check right after I made these deep fried meat pies.
4.) Keeley is an alumni of my Alma mater, and she, Latoya, Hillary and I could totally have a blogger meet up spectacular at homecoming next weekend. Shazaam! [Go Blue Hens!]

I debated whether or not to buy pre-made pastry rounds or make the dough myself because I'm a lazy foodie, and would actually prefer not to make my own dough. But after watching Private Practice on Thursday and realizing that Friday was the kickoff to Halloween weekend, I decided to stay my single female ass indoors and make the dough myself. There's nothing like the fear of being assaulted on the street and losing my kick ass parking spot on a Friday night to shake the lazy right out of me. In fact, I'll preface this recipe right now by saying it was labor intensive. From the dough to the filling to not having the appropriate size pan for deep frying, I put in work for this dish. But it was a labor of love, and I'm quite proud of my MacGuyver kitchen skills. Don't act like you don't remember MacGuyver, he was bad ass, and I loved that show! With that said, this recipe is not authentically Puerto Rican in any way, but it was delicious!

Ingredients
Dough (adapted from Rican Recipes)

3 1/3 cup all purpose flour
1 tsp salt
1 tsp baking powder
3 tbsp unsalted butter (cold, cut into cubes)
1 egg (well beaten)
3/4 cup cold water
1 tbsp vegetable oil
Vegetable oil (at least 32oz)

Mix flour, salt and baking powder. Cut the butter into the flour mixture. Whisk the egg and water, and oil together, and add liquid mixture to flour, thoroughly mixing with a fork, until you form a large dough ball. Set aside while making the filling.

Filling (a MacGuyver style original)
2 boneless pork chops, finely cubed
2 slices thick cut, apple wood smoked bacon, chopped
1/2 large onion, finely chopped
1 garlic clove, minced
Fresh ground black pepper
1 pinch saffron threads
1 tsp cumin
1 tbsp olive oil

Chop/mince the onion and garlic and set aside. Cutting up 2 medium pork chops into finely cubed pieces took considerable effort. Traditionally pastelillos are filled with ground or shredded meat, but since I don't own a functioning  food processor [I have pieces of one I got on freecycle, but that's a story for another day] I had to get old school with it. I have a new appreciation for pre-ground meet, pricey gadgets, and slavery [yeah, son]. Combine the chopped pork and chopped bacon with the seasoning, make sure meat is well coated. Heat olive oil in a heavy skillet on medium high heat, and add onion and garlic. Saute about three minutes, then add meat, cook about 4-5 minutes. Remove from heat, set aside.

Take dough, and cut into 10 pieces. Work each piece with a rolling pin [or in my case, an empty wine bottle that I saved as a souvenir from España] into the size of a small plate. Add 2 tbsp of meat filling per pastelillo, coat the edge with a little water and fold over. Seal edges with a fork. When oil is hot [365F for those with frying thermometers] submerge one pastry into oil. Cook about two minutes on each side or until golden brown and crisp. Remove from oil and place on a plate with paper towels to absorb oil.

But wait, there's more!

I ran out of meat with two rolled out pastries left. Then I had one of those light bulb moments that I love. I remembered I had some left over frozen raspberries from the souffles and some marscarpone cheese.

Dolci Pastelillos
3oz raspberries
3oz marscarpone cheese
1/2 tsp fresh shaved cinnamon
2 tsp sugar

Combine ingredients in a bowl and spoon mixture into pastry rounds. Fold over and press sealed with a fork. Fry in hot oil about two minutes on each side. Remove from oil, and let cool on paper towels. Drizzle with remaining raspberry juice.

I don't think I have to tell you how damn good this entire meal was. Oh and in case you're wondering what those greens on my plate were, it was Swiss chard sauteed in rendered bacon fat and black pepper. I may have a problem when it comes to bacon. But fear not, in the face of my obvious unhealthy obsession with bacon, I'm putting the bacon in the freezer and going vegetarian for the next week or two.

Manchego & Basil Bacony Grilled Cheese

All hail the queen of bacon...and that queen would be me! I don't see you hailing...*waiting*...*hailing ensues*...that's better. Actually, now that I mention it, I wonder if there is some bacon themed pageant somewhere out there in this great nation of ours. Can't you just picture it? Somewhere in a fly-over state, there's some poor little 9 year old girl dressed like a 27 year old street walker with a fake tan, trannie make-up, and a painfully big smile plastered on her dead behind the eyes little face while she parades around a stage like a show dog trying trying to earn the love of her overbearing and tragically desperate mother by living out her unfulfilled dreams.  Ok, so obviously I have some strong opinions about child pageants, but I would gladly pay money to observe grown ass women participate in a bacon beauty pageant. That's just too good of an imaginary opportunity to laugh my ass off while burning with secret envy to pass up. But as always I digress.

Manchego isn't typically used in grilled cheese, because it's not a very melty cheese. I typically don't have the capacity to keep anything alive that doesn't poop or bark [and even then, I have my moments] but somehow I have managed to keep my potted basil plant alive and thriving for three whole weeks. So in celebration of the things that shouldn't be, I decided to combine these two ingredients to make the ultimate grilled cheese. Where's the bacon? Glad you asked. There's isn't any actual bacon in the sandwich, but I did fry it in left over bacon grease from my morning's breakfast. You read that right mi amores, left over bacon grease--don't knock it till you try it.

Ingredients
Sandwich
2 slices whole wheat bread
(lots) Machego cheese, sliced

6-7 leaves basil

Fresh ground black pepper

1 tbsp butter

3 oz rendered bacon fat (foodie speak for bacon grease)

you know I didn't just eat a grille cheese sandwich alone...

Lemon Roasted Broccoli

2 cloves garlic, finely chopped

2 large broccoli crowns, chopped

1 lemon, juiced

olive oil

Sea Salt

Fresh ground black pepper

Assemble sandwich by layering the sliced cheese with basil leaves. Generously season with black pepper. Heat bacon fat and butter in skillet on medium heat. Add sandwich to pan and press flat with spatula, hold for about 30 seconds. Cover skillet with lid and let sandwich cook for 2 minutes. Flip sandwich, press flat with spatula and let cook another 2-3 minutes on second side, or until cheese is melted and bread is browned and crisp. 

Chop broccoli into small bites, toss with chopped garlic, lemon juice, olive oil, salt and pepper. Roast in a 400 degree oven for about 15 minutes until roasty and delicious.

The sandwich was awesome, basil makes everything better, and though manchego isn't the meltiest cheese, the flavor is fantastic. And the bacon flavor was the perfect amount wrong and delicious. I am a genius.

Maple Bacon Pancakes

You read that right.  Maple. Bacon. Pancakes.

I should preface this by saying I love breakfast food, LOVE it. I think pancakes are literally the best thing since sliced bread [or before sliced bread, I wonder which came first...no matter, pancakes are awesome] and I think I've already established that I literally believe that bacon makes the world a better place. So when I came upon a recipe that combined the two greatest American breakfast foods EVER into one, I realized that God really does love me, and that his was my consolation prize for STILL not having my prayers of a new job answered.

You first need to understand, that not all pancakes are created equal. I've long outgrown the "just add water" mix pancakes, discovered that Bisquick pancakes are too heavy, and realized that it was high time I found the perfect pancake recipe and perfected my pancake making technique in order to be satisfied. I mean how can I continue to subject my friends and family with unsolicited food snobbery, if I can't make a decent batch of pancakes?? So I scoured the world wide web, browsed scores of cookbooks, and traveled across land and sea on  an international food quest to find the perfect pancake recipe. OK, obviously, that's not true [but now that I mention it, an international food quest sounds like something I should do before I die] I simply went to one of my favorite food blogs, foodgawker [not the best website to visit when you're hungry] and came across this amazing yet simple recipe from the Cozy Kitchen blog. Not only do I love the recipe, but I immediately fell in love with the blog, because as a preface to the recipe, the author told a hilarious story of how she has dream that she has a pet pig, and in her dream, the pig glares at her with contempt as she makes these pancakes.  It very much reminded me of the first watched the movie Babe, and was eating sausage and damn near crying when Babe's mother was sent to the slaughter house. I mean, it was really really sad, but that sausage was really really good. Obviously, this is a woman after my own heart, and bacon lust, and pancake perfection. But as usual, I digress...

Ingredients

2 cup of all-purpose flour

2 tsp baking powder
2 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt
2 tsp sugar
2 egg, lightly beaten
2 3/4 cup buttermilk
3 tbsp pure maple syrup (not that Aunt Jemima crap)
butter
6 slices of bacon, sliced horizontally and then diced

In a medium pan, cook the bacon, over medium heat, stirring frequently, until cooked. About 6-8minutes. Remove the bacon to a paper towel, to remove excess fat.

In a medium bowl, mix flour, baking powder, baking soda, salt and sugar. Add the lightly beaten eggs and buttermilk, and syrup in two batches, don’t over mix, or you will end up with tough pancakes. There will be some small to medium lumps in the batter. Let the batter sit for 10 minutes to thicken a bit.

While the batter is resting, heat up your griddle, cast iron skillet, or heavy frying pan, (Cast iron is best, but if you're like me and don't own one, use your heaviest skillet w/o a nonstick surface) and slowly melt enough butter to evenly coat the pan on medium heat. Once the batter is done resting, lightly fold the bacon in the batter. Pour batter into your skillet, cook until bubbles form along the sides. Flip, then cook until browned. Be sure to add more butter between each pancake.
*If your pan gets to hot, turn heat off briefly before adding butter, otherwise your butter will burn, your pancakes will suck, and your house will be filled with smoke*

I know traditionally, most people add a dollop of butter to their pancakes. But if you just cooked your pancakes in butter, you don't need to add more. Butter may be love, but there's a not so thin line between love and fat. Serve with pure maple syrup, and enjoy. Lord knows I did. For 3 days--that was a lot of pancake batter.

see all that butter? that's what love looks like

*note the crisp edges and browned center*

my first batch, I know these pictures a sucky, but I was hungry

My second batch. again, I was hungry, and wasn't about to switch plates for pretty pictures. Sorry y'all

Just in case you were wondering, they were bacony, and buttery, and fluffy, and GLORIOUS!
best pancakes EVER!