Bizzaro Land Christmas. And I Roasted a Chicken!

Christmas Land in Murcia. Polar Bears I get. The Panda Bear...not so much. There was also a clown among other randomness..

So this is a Christmas post in February, and the longer I live in Spain the more it becomes evident that this country is basically bizzaro USA. To be clear, this is not actually my homesickness talking right now--though I would like to point out that homesickness is a very real and insidious condition that seeps into your bones and spreads through your entire existence like a cold, cancerous tumor which poisons your spirit and shrouds you and everything around you with an inky blackness on even the sunniest of days. [In case you didn't know this, I'm a bit of a drama queen. Sue me.] But back to bizzaroland España--a first world country with third world tendencies--a land where the local government thinks it's perfectly acceptable to not pay me for three months at a time, banks and government offices are operational just 5-6 hours (if you're lucky) a day, supermarkets are closed on Sundays, teenagers dry-hump each other against the walls of the convent that's just 4 steps from my front door, and the Christmas holiday season is a mere fraction in size, commercialization, and obnoxiousness that we've all come to know and love/loathe stateside.

{Source}

Lost in Translation::Pollo al Horno con Puerros de Mantequilla

After four months of living in Spain, you would think that by now, I would have fully adjusted and settled into my new life here. But the reality of the situation is that it's taken me just that long to feel as if I've found some semblance of balance and/or normalcy. And keep in mind the operative term of "semblance" because both my definitions of normal and balance seem be in a constant state of change. In any event, for many reasons, including this period of adjustment, I've been remiss if not purposely avoidant of updating this blog. 

As you can imagine, there are lots of things that get lost in translation when one packs up their entire life and moves to a new country, and transitioning a domestic food blog to describe an international life is one of them. I have struggled here, not only with the language and from time to time, the distance from home, but the question of how to express myself in that full-on Bernadette way--complete with inappropriate levels of profanity, butter, and bourbon, whilst sharing the good, the bad, and the absurdity of my life in Spain. 

January 13. on the beach!

Rooster to the Wine (Coq Au Vin)

So in 3 months, I'm packing up my best boots and poodle and moving to Spain, and 6 months ago I made Coq au Vin. That's right, 6 months ago, as in January. And I'm just posting it now, because 8 month ago I started the application process for the program that's sending me to Spain, and after that there was Thanksgiving and Christmas and Miss Xpose Prelims and Miss Xpose finals and lots and lots of boozin' and jackassery in between. Sue me.

So back in January when I tried my hand at Mastering the Art of French cooking, I learned a few things along the way, that I will now list in order of importance: 

1. Any dish the requires the presence of three bottles of alcohol is clear win-win situation. #Realtalk.

Ginger Lime Chicken and the Past Days of Summer

Say it ain't so, the last days of summer are upon us. *Can we have a collective a moment of silence in observance of the passing of this cherished season.* Dear summer, I'm sure going to miss you, especially since I squandered most of the season of the sun literally running around like a chicken with my head cut off, toeing the line of sanity and reason, having little time rest nor blog. 'Till the next time we meet, I shall be waiting, and I'll be ready.

Anon.

As you would imagine, all things involving ginger and citrus=good summer eats. Throw in a copious amount of pestle-ground black pepper, as I am prone to do, and what you end up with is the start of something wonderful, and the perfect grilled chicken for a hot summer's day picnic the Reggae Wine Festival. 

Pan Roasted Dijon Chicken

Chicken. Oh how I don't hate it, but don't love it either. I'm kinda on the fence about chicken, which obviously flies in the face of the ridiculous stereotypes that revolve around black people and chicken. Now before you start inching your cursor closer to that little "x" in the corner of your screen, I promise I'm not about to launch into some rant about racial stereotypes or race relations. I'm hardly motivated nor smart enough to write such a rant in a sensical manner, especially not after the two glasses of wine I just had with dinner.  I would just like to state for the record that the stereotype annoys me because as far as I can tell from the absurd amount of food focused television that I watch (and DVR), chicken is universally popular amongst most meat-eating cultures, and I'm utterly flabbergasted as to how we got singled out for it in such a ridiculous way. And that's all I have to say about that. 

My problem with chicken is that I suck at cooking it. It's not that I don't know what I'm doing, it's just that I find myself making chicken dishes with the same flavor profiles over and over and OVER. This redundancy is largely due to my lack of natural creativity as well as my absurd level of pickyness that's so ridiculous in fact, that I'm amazed I can even call myself a foodie. However, in recognition of my shortcomings, I have increasingly turned to others by way of food blog stalking and a subscription to Food & Wine magazine for culinary inspiration. Which is where this dish comes along. And for the record, it was amazing. 

Chicken & Waffles

Hola Guapos!! Y'all didn't think I would flee the country for nine days and leave you with nothing to read, did you? I couldn't do that a second time you guys, I love y'all too much for that. So let's get right to it, shall we?

Chicken and Waffles is one of those dishes that sounds kind of wrong, but tastes so right. Whether it's dinner or breakfast is debatable, but what I do know is that it's crispy, and salty, and sweet, and savory, and freakin' awesome! What I don't know, is why after months of having "borrowed" my sister's waffle iron and having made countless waffles for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, it took me so long to make this dish. Sometimes, I'm really slow on the uptake...I have to start reading more and watching less Housewives, because I think I'm literally becoming dumber.

Moroccan Chicken (Reality Checked Version)

Have you ever had one of those reality checks that checked your reality really hard?  Like you thought you did something that was pretty damn awesome only to find whilst basking in the glory of your self proclaimed awesomeness that not only was your accomplishment NOT awesome, but was in fact mediocre and insignificant? And now that your reality has been CHECKED you realize that not only are you just mediocre but there are multitudes of people far more talented and awesome than you? That's generally how I feel about most of my cooking, and definitely how I felt about this dish. See right what had happened was that I made this "Moroccan" chicken dish weeks ago, and it was pretty damn tasty, there's no doubt about that. But then the week before last, I took a mental health Monday, and treated myself to sleep on my new love seat and hours of Food Network. Everything was going fantastically until Tyler Florence burst my bubble with his Ultimate Moroccan Chicken dish that literally blew my little chicken dish not only out of the water, but off the face of the planet.  Bastard. So for the last two weeks, I've been obsessing over that recipe with an unadulterated loathing and envy that has me determined to replicate that dish one day soon to prove to myself and Tyler Florence [because we totally know each other in my head] that I can make a bomb ass Moroccan brick chicken too. Just as soon as I get a cast iron skillet, a garden brick, and a spice grinder. But before my bubble was burst, I was happy about the dish I made. I was pretty amped to use the spices I bought in Morocco, which were a 35 spice blend and Moroccan paprika.  In hind sight, I wish I had bought lots more spices. But now I know for the next time, bring more money, stay longer, and bring containers for spice transport. Ingredients  2 large bone in, skin on chicken breasts Sea salt Fresh ground black pepper 3 tablespoons butter Olive oil* 1 tablespoon 35 spice blend 2 cloves garlic, cracked (corn) 1 ear yellow corn

1/2 tablespoon Moroccan Paprika

Olive oil

Sea Salt

Black pepper

(bruschetta) 2 on the vine tomatoes 2 cloves garlic, minced 1/2 french baguette, sliced on a bias Olive oil Sea Salt Black pepper 1/4 teaspoon Moroccan Paprika Season the chicken generously with salt and pepper, set aside. Melt butter in a large, heavy skillet on a low flame. Bloom the spice blend in the melted butter, for about 1 minute.  Add a generous** drizzle of olive oil and cracked garlic cloves to the mixture, and bloom for another minute, stirring occasionally to prevent the garlic from burning, about another minute. When the mixture is bubbling and fragrant, remove from heat.  Pour mixture over seasoned chicken breast, thoroughly coating the chicken. Turn skillet back on medium-high flame, and add chicken to skillet, cover with lid and saute about 8 minutes each side, on medium flame until done. I personally like to flip the chicken several times, to get better idea of the doneness seeing as how I don't own a meat thermometer (yet) and dry chicken is not good look. When chicken is done, remove from skillet, along with pan drippings, and allow meat to rest.

While the chicken is cooking, prepare bruschetta and corn: Dice the tomatoes and finely mince garlic cloves. Mix together with salt, pepper, and olive oil, and refrigerate. Peel and rinse corn ears. Drizzle with olive oil and rub with salt, pepper, and paprika. Heat cast iron grill pan on high heat. When pan is hot, drizzle with vegetable oil, and add corn.  Grill on corn for about 10-15 minutes, be sure to rotate to ensure thorough cooking. Remove from pan when corn kernels are firm but have some give, it's hard to explain, but you'll know it when you see/feel it.

While the chicken is resting, drizzle baguette slices with olive oil and sprinkle with salt and paprika. Add to hot grill pan and cook until slightly crisp, about 2 minutes on each side.

The flavor of the chicken was pretty good, but it got better as it sat in the fridge for a few days [yeah, it takes me forever to eat all my leftovers because I can only stand to eat the same thing like 2 days in a row]. The paprika on the corn just gave it a hint of smokiness that was really enjoyable. And well bruschetta is always a winner in my book. It was all good until that damn Tyler Florence put my tasty chicken to shame. This ain't over Tyler, just wait and see...

Let There Be Balsamic Chicken Drumettes

Sorry I've been a bad blogger. This week has flown by [but that's never a bad thing] and here I am, Thursday night, slightly buzzed from happy hour [yes, I'm aware happy hour ended HOURS ago, but three drinks in my weight bracket = yes I'm still buzzed] and I haven't posted since Monday. But as promised, I've got a yummy post for you.

This is one of my favorite chicken dishes, because its simple, delicious and always a dinner party/graduation party/apartment warming crowd pleaser. 60% of the time, it works every time....

I only wish I could take credit for this recipe, but alas this is a creation of that display every tooth in her mouth while smiling heifer, Giada DeLaurentiis, way back during her not overly produced food TV/food porn days of Everyday Italian. [Don't get me wrong, I don't not like her...she just kinda annoys the shit out of me, but her food is so damn tasty that I watch her anyways...]


1/2 cup balsamic vinegar
1/2 cup honey
1/2 cup brown sugar
1/4 cup soy sauce (reduced sodium variety is best)
5 sprigs rosemary
5 garlic cloves, halved
10-12 chicken drumettes or wings (tips removed)
2 tablespoons toasted sesame seeds
1/4 chopped parsley [optional, I've never used it and nobody complained]

Combine
vinegar, honey, brown sugar, soy sauce, rosemary, and garlic in a large freezer bag, until sugar and honey are dissolved. Add the chicken to the bag, and seal with as little air as possible. Refrigerate at least two hours [but a full day does the taste buds very good].

Preheat oven to 450

Cook
chicken in a baking dish until skin is caramelized or very dark in spots, about 30 minutes

Reduce
bring marinade to a boil in a small saucepan. Reduce the heat to simmer and cook over low heat until thick, about 15 minutes. Set aside.

Pour
sauce reduction over chicken. Sprinkle with sesame seeds, serve and enjoy.

happy eatings :)

Navajo Fry Bread Chicken Sandwich

You read that right.
        Fried. Bread. 
               I can feel my arteries clogging right now and I don't care.
                      It was delicious!
                           Don't judge me...

And the story goes like this...

Girl [me] goes to DC for Health Policy Society happy hour.
Girl meets up with college roommate [my wifey] who lives in Brooklyn but is from DC and is actually in town, for drinks [yes, more drinks] and dinner in Union Station.
Girl has Navajo Fry Bread Chicken Sandwich at overpriced train station restaurant.
Girl falls in love with Navajo Fry Bread and vows to make it herself one day.
Seven days later, girl fulfills that vow.

(there was non-stop giggling and laughter that night. and navajo fry bread. and more laughter. good times!)

Fry Bread (recipe courtesy of food network )
2 cups flour
1 tbsp baking powder
1 tsp salt
1 tbsp vegetable oil
3/4 cup warm water

Sift dry ingredients together, then stir in liquids. Work the dough into a ball on a floured cutting board.  wrap tightly in freezer bag (or plastic wrap) and refrigerate for at least one hour. 

Chicken:

4 Bone in, skin on chicken thighs
Sea salt
Black pepper
Red pepper flakes
Ground Coriander
1 Onion, sliced
1/4 Avocado
Gruyere cheese, shredded


Season chicken generously, set aside. Heat some oil  in cast iron grill pan on high heat. Grill onions in grill pan until translucent and browned, set aside. At this point, turn oven on to 375. Leave grill pan on a high flame until it's hot [you should smell it]. Add chicken, skin side down first. Grill on each side about 5-7 minutes. While chicken is sizzling, quarter the avocado, shred some cheese (as much as your heart desires) and set aside with onions. When all the chicken has been grilled, put in glass dish, cover with foil and finish cooking in oven, about 20-25 minutes.  

  

Meanwhile...
Take dough out of  fridge, roll it out into a rough square (I don't bake and therefore don't own a rolling pin, but a can of chicken broth got the job done). I used a drinking glass to cut out perfect circles and then rolled them wide and thin.

Fry...
Add vegetable oil to a frying pan, at least half and inch high, set on high heat until hot, but not smoking (don't burn down your house!).  Add rolled out dough (only 1 at a time!) to hot oil. It should fry up golden brown in about 1 minute on each side. 

Put it all together...

Fried bread+cheese+onions+avocado+chicken=

*go ahead, drool*

Chicken Sandwich

I put my FOOT in that Chicken! (and some Goldschlager too)

Goldschlager and chicken?

[I know what you're thinking: "Wow Bernadette, you've hit a new level of alcoholism today"]

But hear me out...

What I made was Indonesian Ginger Chicken...[recipe courtesy of the Barefoot Contessa , whom I LOVE!]...with a twist.  As I have mentioned before, I have the attention span of a two year old, and that charming characteristic of mine also extends to following recipes.

The recipe itself is quite simple:

Minced Garlic (4 cloves)
Shredded Fresh Ginger (1/4 cup)
Honey (1/2 cup)
Soy Sauce (1/2 cup)
Sea Salt
Coursely Ground Black Pepper
Bone in chicken [breast, thighs, whatever you have, preferably with skin]

Simmer all ingredients minus the chicken, salt and pepper in small sauce pan until the honey melts

But as I was simmering, I thought to myself..."Well I just bought a bottle of Goldschlager (cinnamon schnapps) yesterday [stocking up for the impending snow] and that makes EVERYTHING taste better" and before I knew it, I was pouring that wonderful potent potable into the mix, along with some fresh lemon zest and dried chilies I found in my cupboards.

Pour the sauce over chicken, which has been generously seasoned with salt and pepper

Bake in a 375 degree oven for about 30 minutes, or until juice of pierced meat runs clear...

But single city gal cannot live on booze-soaked chicken alone...

    

Sides:
Pan Fried Bruschetta
[I got my baguette from a different grocery store this time, and it was disappointing, to say the least, but butter is love, and it forgives a multitude of sins]
Garlic Lemon Couscous 
[I refrain from using seasoning packets because they're often LOADED with sodium--and as black folks, salt is damn near kryptonite! trashing the seasoning packet saved me--510mg of sodium/serving--ridonkulous!]


The end result: a fabulous dinner, complete with a glass of wine, garnished with organic gala apple slices [which also made a fabulous dessert because I may or may not have eaten half a box of cinnamon sugar cookies from target for breakfast/lunch today]

mmm, mmm, good!