Thursday, August 23, 2012

Top Ten Things I'll Miss About Home

So the time is coming. In just 19 days I'm boarding a plane with my poodle, my passport, way too many shoes and boots that I'll surely be paying for extra for and my older sister (she's accompanying me for the first two weeks) and MOVING to Spain. [And yes, if you just did the math, that means I fly on September 11th...from JFK ...a bittersweet day it will be indeed]

Holy. Shit!

Needless to say I'm way effing excited and a little bit terrified, but I'm also slightly depressed. This past Saturday I had the most amazing going away Churrasco (post to come) and a ton of my family and friends came, and amongst the eating, laughing, boozing and reminiscing, there were more than a few tears that I just could not hold back. The fact is, I'm packing up my stuff and my dog and leaving behind the life that I've known for more than 25 but less than 30 years [don't y'all love how I never confirm my actual age even though 90% of you actually know what it is. I like to keep the mystery, lol]. So it goes without saying that there are people and things I'm going to miss about home. But it wouldn't be any fun if I didn't actually say who and what I'll miss, so here we go...

1. My sisters.
I mean, I'm going to miss my entire family in general, but my sisters and I have a special bond. Even though 6-7 years separate each of us, as we've all gotten older, we've found a way to bond.  We don't physically resemble each other, but when the three of us get together, people know we're sisters, and usually try to join in our fun. This summer my younger sister Amanda spent the stayed in Baltimore with Odichi (Older sister), so we could spend more time together making it the first summer since 1995 when the three of us lived in the same city. Amanda and I even waitressed at the same crappy restaurant in the inner harbor, and as united sister front manipulated and purposely challenged/irritated the creepy/incompetent/jackhole managers while befriending the only two mangers who didn't suck. Cuz we're awesome like that, and non asshole manger #1 even said so. This summer as a collective we rescued a kitten, [he followed Kona home when sisters were poodle-sitting for me and I now have a nephew cat named Raja], frolicked, movie hopped, road tripped, and ate and drank all the summertime long--well as much as possible given all of our hectic and conflicting schedules. I can't believe my neither of my sisters will be a simple phone call (must figure out how to phone by skype) or short drive away. I can't believe I might not be here for us to go see the new superman movie in 2013 [Because we take our comic book action movies very seriously]. I've been in utter denial about how much I'm going to miss them. I'll stop typing now before I start crying all over my keyboard.

2. My friends.
For the last 10+ years, Aria, Hillary, Alihah, Toya, Tifanni, Liz, and most recently TJ have been the women I've been closest with in this world. Together and from multiple points of the New York through Virginia area, we've cut the f*ck up, laughed hysterically, cried, talked till we're blue in the face, drank till we could drink no more, vowed to never drink bottom shelf vodka again, said hilarious things that should qualify us for our own reality show titled "The Sunday after D.C.", said terribly mean things that make us slightly awful people, done absolutely ridiculous things, watched relationships become marriages, stood by each other when relationships failed, become mother's to children (Toya), become sisters to each other, traveled the globe, danced on stages and streets, danced on poles, swung from construction scaffolding, and engaged in various forms inappropriateness and tomfoolery all with mischievous smiles on our faces. I've also been in denial about the significance of my departure from my friends and have forbidden the girls from speaking about it all summer. Cuz I'm bossy like that. And I just can't face the reality of it. Again, I must stop typing before I start to cry.

3. Wegmans.
I never did get around to typing up a post about why I love Wegman's so damn much, but I literally LOVE this place. If you've never been to one, all I can say is that it's like the Nordstrom of grocery stores. And I say Nordstrom and not Bloomingdale's or Saks, because unlike the former two, Nordstrom/Wegmans is upscale enough to make you feel special and offer you an amazing shopping experience, but won't break your bank like Whole Foods. In fact, Wegman's is cheaper than Safeway (not sure about Giant) and since it's outside of the city, I don't have to dodge homeless people and walk around the cop car that remains parked out in front of the Safeway near my apartment. I'm that person who drives the 25 minutes to the county for Wegmans, with my grocery list, assembled, organized by aisle and printed from the total price I should expect to pay. I've heard wonderful things about the produce available in Murcia and expect to have an amazing food shopping experience, but at the end of the day nothing can replace my Wegmans. Nothing!


4. 7% Sales Tax.
Anyone whose shopped in the EU or Canada knows about sales tax sticker shock. In Spain, the value added tax used to be 18%, but now thanks to this motherfucking economic crisis (which still has me on edge honestly) it's been hiked to 20%. I dare not ask what shipping from online shopping might cost, lest I fall out from shock and change my mind about this move all together.

5. Driving.
So obviously, I'm not shipping my Honda to Murcia. I was going to sell it, but given the insecurity of the Spanish economy, I thought it best to be prepared, and am storing it in my mom's garage. And this will be the first time in six years that I won't have a car of my own. I don't like driving a lot, but I despise waiting for public transport, and I'm going to miss riding in the bat mobile, windows down, blasting Ke$ha, shifting gears and cursing at people. I've been told that the bus and tram system in Murcia is reliable and easy, but still I'm going to miss being the captain of my chariot. And what I wouldn't give to take my 5 speed manual on the winding roads of the Spanish Countryside. But then again, that's what boyfriends with cars are for...

6. American Breakfast Food.
I live for pancakes, french toast and waffles with real maple syrup. While I know I can easily make these things in Spain, what I can't easily do is find maple syrup. It turns out maple syrup is more of a North American staple and is a foreign luxury that's about 20 euro for a few ounces in Spain. I honestly might have my family bring me a jug or two when they visit for Christmas, because I cannot live without the occasional pancake feast.

7. English.
It's not that I'm not excited about being thrust into Spanish immersion. It's just that I know that the struggle to communicate with people can be exhausting. So I already know, I'm going to be that person, who upon hearing another English speaker in midst in Spain, will  probably run to them and demand to know where they're from, what they're doing here, and talk their ear off for the sole purpose of speaking and listening to my native tongue. This doesn't make me an ugly American does it?

8. American TV.
So even though I can access Hulu Plus in Spain, Netflix hasn't quite caught up with the times, and foreign TV is well just that. Foreign. I've been attempting to observe American TV with a "foreigners" eyes these last few months, and honestly most TV seems strange to me these days. Either way, I'm going to miss the hell out of random interesting stuff on PBS, American commercials, and any and everything that I can't watch on Hulu (like Game of Thrones, True Blood, and How I Met Your Mother). On the flip side, I'm also kind of excited for this respite. I have a stack of magazines calling my name, and I have yet to use my kindle with which I've already loaded with several free books off my reading list from my 30 before 30.

9. Brown people.
I grew up in Camden, NJ which is like 90% Black/Puerto Rican and a handful of Vietnamese and Cambodian. When I went to University of Delaware, I had bit of a culture shock with  92% of the student body being white, but saw enough of the 8% minority population to not always feel like the lone chocolate chip in a sea of white [well outside of classes at least]. I currently live in Baltimore which is like 60% black [unfortunately 40% of them are ratchet, but I digress], so seeing people who look like me is my normal.  I've never lived anywhere where the overwhelming majority of people that I will see are white--and I only spent 5 weeks in Italy so I never quite did get used to people staring at me because I look different than them. From what I've been told from other black women and brown girls in Europe, some days it bothers you, most days it doesn't, and every now and again, you may have to get to rolling your neck and cut a side eye at someone ig'nant and ratchet. Ni modo, así es la vida. I already know I'll be "the brown girl with the brown dog" wherever I find an apartment. This should be fun.


10. American efficiency.
I know we've all been told that Americans work the longest hours and get the least amount of shit done, but I'm not so sure about that. Based on my experiences while abroad, there seems to be a general lack of urgency in attitude when it comes to things we Americans like to believe are urgent (like visa paperwork, and residency cards, airport check-in, etc). One of my fellow language assistants shared this video with me about what to expect when I go to apply for my residence card in Spain, and I found it to be hi-larious because I know it's true. This fact also scares the crap out of me, since my Spanish is still....lacking. Jesus be with me, lol.


  1. I hope the going away festivities were epic! What new form will the blog take? Nadette eats....Spanish? Maybe an entirely new site?

  2. The festivities were in fact, epic. As was the clean up effort, but it was all worth it. And I have some changes for the blog planned for sure! And you'll see them soon enough ;)

  3. Actually you won't miss out on that many TV shows, the illegal online TV thing is BOOMING in Spain and everyone knows everyone who knows some website. Also, all three of the shows you mentioned are on TV, and if you have a certain kind of television, you can watch them in English.

    Efficienty, whoo chile I don't know how after two years of Spanish inefficiency my head hasn't exploded. I guess it is a take it as it comes type thing, but the inefficienty thing is ONE HUNDRED percent true and annoying. That youtube was NOT an exagerration.

    Don't worry about the brown thing, sure you'll stand out but NOBODY will treat you bad or worse because of it, on the flipside you're an "exotic goddess," an interesting American with which to practice English, and a host of other things. Remember, outside of America you are American first, THEN black.

    We shall obviosly need to arrange a visit/ meet up in person, no?

  4. I can still get American TV AND be an exotic goddess?! Oh yes, a visit and tapas is very much in order!

  5. I use a VPN and can access most sites.  Including Amazon instant Video where you can rent all videos/tv shows you want.  I use hulu and I think netflix works with one too (but I have not tried it personally).  There are free ones, but most seem slow.  I use PROXPN.  Also, for FREE phone calls to./from the USA you can use google voice.  Just set up an account and get a number.  To do this out of the USA you need a VPN on your computer  (a free one is fine ProXPN has a free version) and a USA phone number you can use to get your activation code.  You can probably set that up with one of your sisters.  After that, you get a US number of where you choose (I got one in college so I would have a local number for my family to call).  You can call and receive calls (on your computer) from the USA for FREE.  Make sure when you install all the software you are using a VPN to get the US version.  You can have those calls forwarded to any US number also, so if/when you go back you can forward them to you home phone or cell phone.  You can also easily block numbers, get voicemail service for your GV # and any US number (they will forward the call to your GV voicemail if you do not answer), save all your contacts and import them to new phones, etc. 

  6. Also, i know it is not the same, but I use honey instead of maple syrup when I make waffles here in Colombia.  Though I have hte opposite problem, there are a LOT of brown people and few white people and the few that are here are not any where NEAR as white as I am :).  

  7. I've actually found maple syrup here, and it wasn't terribly expensive. But finding buttermilk for pancakes is pretty much impossible. Le sigh. And I was pleasantly surprised that there's a thriving immigrant community here, and that the Murcians in general don't have nasty things to say about it. 



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