Wildcard

I'm not the type of person who does things with explicitly clear intentions. In general, I tend to do things [or not do things] because the mood strikes me to do so [or not], and the outcomes of such actions or in actions are often not major concern.  I'm not sure if it's one of my biggest flaws or strongest attributes, #kanyeshrug. That's not to say that I'm reckless. I'm probably one of the biggest squares you'll ever meet, so activities of an illicit or "poor life choices that will land you in a starring role of a lifetime movie" nature don't appeal to me. I just felt that I should clarify.

I mention this lack of clear intention for my actions, because this past Saturday evening was my pole competition, and before the show started, my fellow contestants and I were required to fill out a brief bio for the MC to read to during the show: Name, occupation, length of time pole dancing, and last but not least, "why I want to be Miss Xpose Fitness". As you can probably imagine, I had absolutely no idea how to answer this question. 

You see, I had pretty much made up my mind last April, during the studio's combined Finals competition that I was going to compete. Also between then and October, I was fortunate to become fast friends with my sister in pole, TJ [picture above], who wouldn't have taken no for an answer regarding my entering the competition. So while it seems I was destined to enter the preliminary competition because of these reasons, I had never given thought to why I would want to win the title, or even if I wanted to win. For the record, I eventually wrote on my bio that I wanted to prove to myself that I'm that awesome. True story.

Fast forward to Saturday evening, after I performed in the Pole Diva category to a fabulous audience with 11 of my closest friends and family, including my Mom [bless her heart, I guilted her into coming, she enjoyed what she could]. The three category winners had already been announced, and I had easily predicted long before the show who would win each: Pole Diva--TJ; Pole Princess--Momo [pictured above]; and Floor/Chair Queen: Michelle [pictured below]. But then there was the brand new Lady Wildcard spot, which is awarded the competitor with the second highest score in any category, in absence of anyone who has already placed [you can compete in all 3 categories, I only did one, I'm lazy like that].

So as I was standing there with the remaining competitors, our Mistress of Ceremonies was saying how it came down to two points to decide who would win the wildcard spot and also advance to the finals, and as we all were stomping our heels for the drumroll, I started to think to myself, "Wait...do I really not want to win? I made almost all my friends drive here from out of state...I subjected my southern mother to pole dancing and booty popping for Christ's sake...If I lose I'm going to have to check my facial expressions and resist the urge to give whoever wins the side eye of a lifetime..." only to have my thoughts interrupted by "It's Bernie!" [that's me...you know, (Ber)Nadette].

My reaction was literally, "WHAT?!" As I got confirmation from the flowers and tiara bestowed upon me, I then proceeded to act a fool in front my of momma, including, but not limited to being dry humped by TJ and saying "holy shit" at least ten times...in front of my momma. 

So I guess I am that awesome...and I've got lots of training to do before the finals on April 19th. Here we gooooooo!!