I KNOW that I should be grateful to have a job. I AM GRATEFUL. Because as far as I know, I have a job until July--I'm contractual, remember?
I KNOW that this job market is terrible, and that people far more talented and qualified than me are out of work and can't get work.
I KNOW that I must "focus more on my desires more than my doubts, and the dream will take care of itself"
I KNOW that I must be steadfast in my faith. "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God.-Philippians 4:6.
I KNOW I KNOW I KNOW! But guess what? Right about now, none of that shit matters!. That stupid email that was chock full of phrases like "stronger candidates" and "promising future" really got me down. It's not so much the fact that I didn't even get an interview [trying not to be bitter], its the fact that with each rejection comes the feeling that I'm NEVER going to get out of this job--and that thought is enough to make want to do something that looks a little like this:
minus me being a white, male, and 2 years old.
I know I'm wallowing in self pity. Guess what? I don't care. I know self pity is completely pointless. Guess what? I still don't care.
I want a new job, I want out of Baltimore, I want the people I had a phone interview for the perfect job to call me back for a real interview already! [now accepting prayers, well wishes, shooting stars, etc] I want to not lose my marbles over this. I want I want I want!
I need to get over it.
Back my regularly scheduled job searching now...